Saint Sebastian

"Shot through the heart...and you're to blame, Darlin', you give love...a bad name!"  DRUMS!!

Here we have poor ol' Saint Sebastian, impaled once again.

Veronica Wipes Jesus Christ's Face

So, Jesus was lugging his cross to Golgotha when he nearly collapsed and Veronica, thinking she was doing a good deed, wiped his face.  But the thing is, all of his makeup came off on her towel, and Jesus had to get crucified without his face on.  For shame, Veronica, what would Tammy Faye say?

Baptismal Jesus

"IT IS I WHO GAVE BAPTISM TO JESUS OF NAZARETH," spoketh John the Baptist.  "I just didn't expect to get that reaction, is all..."

Joan Of Arc, Part 2

The last Joan of Arc, I didn't give much thought to, I was just really moved by the silent film version of her trial and stake-burning and felt compelled. This one is sort of a representation of her youth and courage.

Also a borderline Adventure In Crazy Hair.

Virgin Mary Sheds Bloody Tears

Thousands went on a pilgrimage to Sandusky, OH, to see the statue of the Virgin Mary weeping bloody tears only to get there and realize it was just ancient vampire Akasha's little sister Skipper that had fed too much.

Saint Lucy

The dear, virginal Lucy decided against marrying a pagan and used her dowry to help the poor. The spurned fiancee got revenge by dropping the C-bomb label on her: Christian. Under Diocletian's rule, that was not a good thing. I'm pretty sure he also had Sebastian knocked off. So that's two saints that Diocletian is responsible for.

Apparently there are two wildly different schools of thought on how Lucy lost her eyes. One is that she was being pursued by a suitor who loved her eyes so she cut them out and sent them to him so that he would leave her the "F" alone. !!!!!! That is rejection taken to orgasmic levels.

The other is that her eyes were gouged out before her execution, (which made my whole body cringe just thinking about it, and I'll probably get freaked taking my contacts out later) but God later granted her an even more beautiful set of eyes. Probably so when people have visions of Saint Lucy, it wouldn't be a horrific visage with bloody, empty eye sockets.

Thanks to Kurt for pointing me towards this!

Saints Sergius and Bacchus

One beat to death and the other de-nogginized...oh those silly Romans...

Sergius and Bacchus were two soldiers who were undercover Christians back when being a Christian was a...risky...life choice. When it was discovered and they steadfastly refused to pray to the Roman gods, they were tortured. Bacchus died while being beaten and Sergius survived his beat down (which supposedly featured a compassionate appearance by Bacchus' ghost) only to have his head chopped off later.

Interesting story that I hadn't heard of before today, and the suspicion that they may have been more than just comrades in arms led to this drawing...

St Sebastian

After he heard God tell him that he was going to become the #2 martyred sex object in history (after Marilyn), Sebastian thought, "Well, that's not what I was going for at all."

Saint Elliot...

Portrait of my friend Elliot as a saint. This pretend Elliot has resigned himself to his role as sexual plaything. Saints have to suffer in life. He brings joy to others by sharing a piece of himself and his beauty, but this leaves him with less and less for himself. He's carelessly manhandled and then abandoned.

The drawing is after his ascension, and the nipples are purposefully left off in order to desexualize him.

Joan Of Arc...

Suddenly, Joan of Arc thought it would be perfect timing to unveil her new cover of "Hot Child In The City."

Recommended: The Passion Of Joan Of Arc is one of the greatest movies I've ever seen. Very moving...